These 7 rules can maximize peaceful relations, guiding you toward success. Success is how you define it, while peaceful relations provide the best conditions for achieving your goals.
- Never talk bad about your ex in front of your children.
- Act in the best interest of your children, realizing you will often need to deny yourself. Desire that your children have more, not less. It is best for your child to have a good relationship with both parents.
- Act and speak with the understanding that you will need to communicate with your ex at least until the children are 18. Less successful people usually do not have a bigger, long-term perspective, while more successful people try to build a workable relationship.
- Resist reactive behaviors, even when your ex is being really difficult. Negative reactions can quickly spiral into toxic environments that are difficult to repair. Thinking proactively is difficult when the parental instinct is to protect.
- Build trust by not keeping secrets. Do not make excuses for your spouse. Be compassionate and let your children draw their own conclusions.
- Do not try to out perform or compete against your ex. This will only sow resentment in your children.
- Be committed to working on yourself. This takes growth in humility. Some cases have an abusive spouse we are trying to protect against. In those cases we should seek therapy and healing. In most cases, your humility and commitment to personal growth will cause the other to respond peacefully. You will be happier the quicker you nurture a peaceful environment, where you and your children can heal and grow.